so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
