38 yer olds are good kisserssss
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
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