just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Randomize
