how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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