Only a mothe r could love this liver
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
