well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
