How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
