I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
