You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
