but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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