i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
do herpes really smell.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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