God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
