And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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