yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
