It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
