no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Operation Purity has been aborted
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Randomize
