the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
