I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Randomize
