i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Floor bacon is actually really good
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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