The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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