Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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