so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Randomize
