Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
