I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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