dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
