do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
