2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
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