I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
