I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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