I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
