just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
