Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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