1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
