Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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