Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
