if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
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