We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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