You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
