Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
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