Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
