Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
