oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
