Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
