I seem to have left my pride at pride
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
