Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
