so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Randomize
