Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
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