i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
