The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
