I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Randomize
