You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Randomize
